Glimpses of Gold

"I can see, and that is why I can be happy, in what you call the dark, but which to me is golden. I can see a God-made world, not a manmade world. "  ~   Helen Keller

I have special memories of dancing the polka, jitterbug, waltz, etc. in the grand ballroom known as the Bliss living room...with the most amazing dance partner ever known: my mother.  I remember baking and filling eclairs with her experienced hands guiding mine.  I remember weeding her beautiful irises with her (groaning as I worked).  But, the most treasured memories that I have of my mother is observing her love and care of others.  Whenever there was a need, my mother tried to help.  I remember holding 9 X 13s still in the back seat of many cars as she drove meals to the sick, new parents, and the elderly.  I remember sharing the back seat with elderly couples who could no longer drive and helping push their grocery carts because my mother provided transportation for them.  I have similar memories with my father.  I remember working with him in our garden, late nights listening to him and Mom sing and play instruments together, and our special father-daughter fishing trips.  I remember delivering tall glasses filled with icy drinks as he worked under friends' cars.  I remember the hair standing on the back of my neck while I sat next to the homeless men he brought home for dinner.  They all left with happy tears and hope that things were looking up. 
 
Last month, my parents celebrated their Golden Anniversary.  To honor them, I helped put together a celebration for many family members and friends.  Part of the celebration included a slide show and a brief summary of their years together.  I thought you might enjoy reading it too.  Enjoy!

On July 30th, 1938, in the little coal mining town of Granville, West Virginia, a son was born to Norman and Stephania Bliss.

The sixth of seven children, Earl was no stranger to struggle. His father, Norman, worked in the mines and while he made an excellent wage, the family still struggled to make ends meet.

(L-R: Earl Bliss, Oleta Bliss)

Earl’s mother was a spirited and devoted mother who maintained a small farm for the family, so the family’s food supply was never lacking. Chores were also never lacking.

(Norman R. Bliss, top center)

Earl’s father came from a broken home. At twelve, his father disappeared and Norman was forced to begin working in the coal mine to help his mother make ends meet. He endured many tragedies and difficulties while growing into a young man. Some would say that he continued to fight the demons of his past while he raised his family; which is why he spent much of his time and resources in the local tavern. But Earl’s father brought much joy to his family with his creative (and sometimes questionable) poetry, music and dancing. While he was known for his fiery temper, he was also known for his sense of humor. He was trained in music and dance and music was an important part of the Bliss household. Passers-by might have heard Norman playing a wide variety of stringed instruments, piano, pump organ and his beloved collection of Blues records.

(Stephania Domanski Bliss - Top, 2nd from left)

Earl’s mother, whose nickname was “Stella”, was the daughter of polish immigrants. Her family settled in Pennsylvania after the long trip from Poland.
She and Norman married when Stella was just 16 years old. They had 7 children: Norman Jr., Laura, Mae, Oleta, Grover, Earl and Arthur.
Stella was a good match for Norman. While he was known for his fiery temper, she was known for her fiery devotion to her faith. She had a great sense of humor and a compassionate heart. Though Stella was busy mothering seven children, tending to a farm and keeping the peace with her coal mining husband, she still found time to volunteer at the local jail, sharing the hope she had found in Jesus and his gift of salvation. This hope is what sustained her when life became too hard.

Earl grew up in church. And while this church brought encouragement to his mother, it burdened Earl. The church he grew up in was very legalistic. Salvation wasn’t presented as God’s gift of life, but rather, something one must earn through good works and a sinless life. The restrictions were oppressive and salvation often seemed unattainable. As a young teen, Earl decided that it was too much for him and told God he was going his own way.
Earl was a very intelligent boy. Schoolwork was easy for him. Bored and disillusioned with life, he decided to pursue adventure. He dropped out of school and enlisted in the Air Force. Because Earl was only 17, he needed the signatures of both parents. Since Earl’s mother never would have signed, Earl told the recruiter that his mother had run away and he lived with his father. When Earl’s father met with the recruiter to sign documents, no mention was made of Earl’s mother, so Earl’s plan worked. He was 17 and flying to Germany where he would find adventure.

Earl worked as a jet aircraft mechanic, servicing F100s. This enabled him to see the world and indeed find adventure. When he returned to the states in 1959, his adventures had also earned him a new title: father. Michaela Honolora Wingender remained in Germany with her mother.

(Earl is on the left.)

Earl returned to West Virginia, but since no work was available there, he moved to Crown Point, Indiana to live near his brother, Grover, and work for Universal Atlas, which was part of US Steel.

(Lucille and Conrad Bennett.  Betty Lou Bennett: infant)

On December 19th, 1939, in the little town of Centertown, KY, a daughter was born to Conrad & Lucille Bennett.

The first of nine children, Betty had a happy start. She loved being spoiled by her extended family. But that life changed when Betty’s father, Conrad, moved the family to Whiting, Indiana to find employment.

(L-R: Roy, Betty, John, Cathy, Sue, Teresa, Brenda and Debbie)

Lucille packed up her belongings and her then three children: Betty, Sue, and Brenda and moved into their new apartment. A few years later, Conrad received a draft notice and had to leave his family to serve in World War II. So that Lucille could have the support of her family, Conrad moved his wife and three children back to Centertown for the duration of his military duties.

After his return, Conrad and Lucille welcomed four more children: Roy, Teresa, Cathy and John. Conrad found it difficult to find steady work in Kentucky and once again, the family moved to Whiting, Indiana to return to work at Continental Foundry. They lived in one year until they purchased a home in Gary, Indiana. There, they welcomed two more children: Gary and Debbie. Sadly, Gary died when he was only two days old.

(Conrad Bennett)

Betty’s father was a very happy man, which won him the nickname “Hap”. He enjoyed music and often played his guitar and sang. But, not unlike Earl’s father, Betty’s father also had a difficult past. Conrad’s father had an alcohol problem and left the family when the children were young. This left Conrad’s family very poor and often without food. Conrad hated that his father allowed his family to suffer, but found himself following a similar path. After the war, when Betty was 12 and the family was living in Whiting, Conrad was invited to play his guitar and sing at a tavern walking distance from their apartment. It was there that “Hap’s” own drinking problem began. When Conrad drank, he was no longer the happy father Betty had known but rather a bitter, frustrated man. His battle with alcohol continued until a stroke. He was sober for four years before his death.

(Lucille Whitehead Bennett)

Because of this battle, Lucille carried a heavy burden. But, she wasn’t really alone. Like Earl’s mother, Lucille found her strength in her faith. Every Sunday, she marched her family down to church and trusted in the Lord to provide for their needs.

As a young teen, Betty got a job at J J Newbury’s department store and later, she took a job at Black Oak Pharmacy, which was closer to her home.

In 1960, Betty was working at Black Oak Pharmacy, when a handsome young man came in to purchase some money orders. Something about Earl made Betty nervous. She said that something about him scared her. Earl however, went home and told his family that he was going to marry the Betty Bennett he met at the drugstore that day. This meeting, started it all and because of it, we’re all here today.

Earl returned to the drugstore and asked Betty if she would go on a date to the aquarium. Betty laughed because she knew Earl was trying to find a date location suitable for a good little Christian girl. This offended Earl, so they didn’t go to the aquarium. But, this didn’t stop Earl. He began calling Betty’s home (where consequently, she didn’t live). By this time, Betty was living with an aunt. Thanks to the Bennett kids, the message was delivered and before long, Earl and Betty were dating. Nine months later, they were married.

It’s no wonder, really, that Earl and Betty found a soul mate in each other. They had a lot in common. Not only did they share similar interests, they also shared a lot of pain.

Following their honeymoon, Earl and Betty made their home in an apartment at 5th and Buchanon in Gary. Betty continued working at Black Oak Pharmacy and Earl continued working at Ford Stamping Plant. The following year, they moved to an apartment at 426 VanBuren Street, also in Gary. They moved again, this time to a small home at 633 Calhoun in Brunswick. It was the events in this little home that changed their marriage forever.

Their marriage started out great and they have many happy memories, but what they both remember most from the early years was the arguments that they had. Arguments started with cruel words, progressed to threats and eventually became physical fights. It was a dark and painful time. One of the biggest differences that Earl and Betty had was in regards to faith. Betty was devoted to God and enjoyed attending church regularly. Earl was still avoiding church and more specifically, God. Betty’s devotion irritated him. Betty hoped that Earl would “come around” and looked for opportunities to encourage Earl in that direction. One particular evening, Betty was at church and Earl was, of course, at home. He had been dealing with terrible pain from the bleeding stomach ulcers that he had and as he doubled over in pain, his eyes fell on a bible that Betty had purchased for him. This bible, that had once been received in anger, was opened and fell to the passage in Acts 3 that churched children often sing about.

"1 One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the time of prayer—at three in the afternoon. 2 Now a man who was lame from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts. 3 When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. 4 Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, “Look at us!” 5 So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them.

6 Then Peter said, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.” 7 Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man’s feet and ankles became strong. 8 He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God. 9 When all the people saw him walking and praising God, 10 they recognized him as the same man who used to sit begging at the temple gate called Beautiful, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him."

Earl knew God was speaking to him and that his days of resisting were over. Right at that moment, he got on his knees and spoke a crude prayer. He said, “God, what you did for that old man, I want you to do for me.” Instantly the excruciating pain in his stomach went away. But not only was his stomach healed, he had found peace with his Creator.

Later that evening, Earl drove to the church to give Betty a ride home. On the drive home, Earl said, “I got saved tonight.” And Betty responded with “You liar.” Earl continued, “I want to eat what you eat tomorrow and I want you to make chili with hot peppers.” This was a shocking request because Earl had been on a strict diet because of his stomach condition. The next day, Earl ate everything he requested with no pain. His healed stomach and new perspective on life was a fresh start for their marriage.

Through the years, their love for each other and their love for their God grew. They rejoiced with Him in the good times and clung to Him through the bad times.

Together, they mourned six years of infertility and miscarriages. They rejoiced when they received the call that a five pound miracle boy was waiting for them to adopt.

They named him Aaron Todd Bliss.

Two years later they rejoiced when they learned they were expecting a second son, who they named Stephen Brian Bliss.

They mourned the loss of their daughter, Crystal Dawn Bliss in the delivery room.

They rejoiced when their fourth child survived Hyaline’s Membrane Disease following her birth. They named her Rachel Nicole Bliss.

They trusted God when Earl had multiple heart attacks.

They trusted God when Betty was first diagnosed with breast cancer.

They trusted God when Betty developed an eye disease and had to undergo numerous treatments and surgeries.

They trusted God when Earl suffered with temporary amnesia.

They continue to trust God as Betty fights another battle with breast cancer, blindness and neuropathy.

Through all of these things, they have trusted God and He has proven Himself faithful. He promised He would never leave them and He kept His promise.
Because their lives were transformed from something dark and difficult to something beautiful and hopeful, they wanted to share their experience with everyone in need.

Betty was often found preparing meals for the sick, driving the elderly wherever they needed to go, and helping with Bible Studies.

Earl was often found under the cars of friends experiencing car trouble, picking up hitchhikers on the highway (and bringing them home for a meal!), helping with Bible Studies and volunteering at the county jail.
Together, they found enjoyment traveling and enjoying the beauty of nature. They often sang together, with Earl playing the guitar and Betty playing the piano. And, in the past several years, they enjoyed volunteering in Jail Ministry together prior to Betty’s recurrence of cancer.

Their journey was filled with laughter, music, dancing, food, friends, beautiful nature, quiet prayers, loud rejoicing and even more laughter.
If you’re wondering how to make a marriage survive 50 years, Betty and Earl would say that YOU can’t make it survive…but God can. Trust Him.

Happy 50th Anniversary, Mom and Dad

"16 Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."  2 Corinthians 4:16-18